....getting back to SF

I was really happy to be back in San Francisco because I couldn't wait to see all my familia and friends! I had work the following day after getting back to SF.

The day I went to work was so fucked up. I got laid off after returning back from my beautiful, restful, and wonderful vacation. I worked for them all through the holidays. During the talk with my manager, he then informed me that they sent me severance pay with my last paycheck 01/08/2009. But I wasn't informed I was laid off at the time and spent the last of my mula in Hawaii, thinking I still had a job to come back to. I wasn't even aware that they would be laying off people at all. It was all of a sudden and a shock. It was a weird feeling. I was in shock and didn't process the information all at first. Then the next day, realized I had no money at all and started to cry and feel sorry for myself. Thinking to myself, how am I gonna pay for rent and for food to eat. Ahhhhh!!!!

I'm gonna have to ask for a new severance pay because the way they laid me off was unprofessional.

Anyways, that night ate with friends @ Benihana, had a little bit of mula left for one last grand dinner.

The next following day I got into a car accident! To make matters more worst........what is happening?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?! =/

Things right now in my life are so confusing and up in the air. I feel sort of lost but trying to look at the brighter side of things and know that things are always going up and down all the time.

"When you get through whatever it is you are going through, you are going to be much better off. You will have firsthand knowledge of what works for you and what does not. You will have a new assessment of your strengths and capabilities. You will have greater insights about the people in your life. Perhaps you will have trimmed away some fluff, released some unnecessary baggage. In the midst of a challenge, our eyes are opened, our minds blown to new levels of awareness. When you get through this, you are going to be something else.....a better, stronger you!"

I just have to keep reminding myself: "Just another growth experience, blessing me today."

Ever since this whole nightmare started. My friends around me have been so helpful, understanding, and supportive. I am totally blessed with compassionate and beautiful souls around me. And I'm very appreciative of those who have offered their help to me. And those who are there for me right now when I need help the most. Thanks again!

I start first day back of spring sem 2009 at SFAI today. I am determined to make the best art ever than I have before because I'm such at the bottom point of my life right now. I need some outlet. I need to express how I'm feeling. My heart can't take this pain right now. =/ I want to smile again.