I've been concentrating on living in the NOW.
"Are you always trying to get somewhere than where you are right now?"
Most of us are never content to where we might be in life at the moment. But if we all just relax and just let life happen, we wouldn't feel so anxious to get to the next moment in life. We can learn to relax and live. And know that everything has it's time. Everything has it's beginning, middle, and end. It's all timing and circumstances.
I know that all that I've become depends on what life experiences I've already had, what phase of life I am in, what my goals are, and what aspects of my personality needs to be developed and strengthened. "You are just getting started, so have patience with yourself and the process, and do not give up."
Recently, I've learned to open up more than I'm used to. All this time, Unconsciously, keeping feelings and emotions to myself. Realizing in the end, that sometimes it's okay to open up. Very few of us understand how to handle our emotions in a natural, healthy way. We live in a culture that is terrified of feeling too much. We have all learned many ways to deny, repress, manipulate, or try to change our emotions. We get stuck holding onto certain emotional patterns because they feel familiar and safe. What we don't know how to do is simply accept them to flow through us in their own natural rythms. I am learning to accept all sides of myself.
"Don't be too hard on yourself. Everything is a growth process."
I realize I've done all I can do, and I cannot regret what I did not do! Realize that I cannot make my life move faster than it is moving. No matter how urgent my situation may seem to be, things are going to happen when they happen, not a minute sooner. Patience is a choice. Patience is the emotional skill of knowing that what you expect, intend and desire will happen exactly when it needs to happen. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with others. Be patient with life. The process of life is ever unfolding, guiding you, pushing you, preparing you for the next part of the process. Life often takes a twist, or makes a turn that is frightening or confusing. Difficult challenges, bad days, upset feelings, moments of confusion are part of life's process. Perhaps these things are there to keep us alert, to make us stronger, or to test our resolve to keep moving forward. Perhaps they are not a sign that we are wrong, that we are failing or that our life is about to fall apart. The only way we can know for sure is to be willing to walk through every part of the process. The good and the not so good. The easy part and the hard parts. Perhaps if we stopped trying to figure out the process, the process would proceed exactly as it should.
Also I am receptive to the idea...sometimes people do things that have nothing to do with what I have done. When someone you care about with no reason or explanation, suddenly stopped speaking to you, what would you do? Most of us would probably search for a reason. We would search our most recent words, trying to find the reason why someone, particularly this someone, would turn their back. When the search turned up nothing, we would make the next most obvious leap. We would ask ourselves, "What did I do wrong?" It is at the precise moment that we ask ourselves that question that we are going to get ourselves into trouble.
People have a right to do what they want to do, when they want to do it, in any manner they choose to do it. You don't have to like it, and sometimes it is very hurtful. It doesn't mean however, that you did anything wrong. People see the same things in different ways. Certain people may process information in a different way than you do. They may feel different than you do about certain things. And even when you think you know a person, they may surprise you!
Each time you make yourself wrong for the way someone treats you, you diminish your sense of self. At times, you can be so willing to be wrong about what has happened that you make yourself wrong for simply being who you are. At some point in life, you may simply be faced with the painful reality that, for whatever reason, someone has chosen to move you out of their life. Accept that as their choice. While you may feel hurt and bewildered, it doesn't mean you have done anything wrong.