contemplating...

"Regardless of our present or past circumstances, the important thing is...everything that is happening or has happened is for a reason. In reality, there are no victims. We each have a different sad story to tell, there are thousands of them. But the common thread that runs through them all, which is that have at some point lost our power, or it has been taken away from us, or we have just plain given it away."

"THE INVITATION"

"THE INVITATION"

IT DOESN'T INTEREST ME WHAT YOU DO FOR A LIVING.
I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstacy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; of if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mines, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of greif and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

being taken serious

Sometimes I don't know why I have the worst communication skills. I want to be better at it. I know I have to totally trust and feel safe with the person. I don't know why I'm so unaffectionate, but i guess it's to a certain extent, because I can be affectionate when it's someone I'm really close to and feel comfortable with. I don't know why it's hard for me to open up to a guy. It's easy for me to talk to girls when it comes to emotions, but when I talk to a guy or any guy friend for that matter, I can totally shut down. I guess with patience, time, and the with the right person it'll happen.

There's certain persons I feel really comfortable with, and it makes me happy. Those I can be myself with and be totally open with. My heart is able to open up to right people. Before I was so afraid to be so closed up. But now it's opening up little by little as I learn to trust others.